


Personas

by wrynning



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Descriptions of Blood, Gen, PTSD, Suicide Attempt, gary is not fuckin okay, idk maybe kinda squeamish i cant tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrynning/pseuds/wrynning
Summary: Because no one can keep an act up forever.





	Personas

H.U.E. was a lot of things. He was a jailer, a taskmaster, a doctor in some sense. Gary thought of him as a friend, because what other options did he have? KVN didn’t count. He would genuinely prefer to have his hair pulled out one strand at a time by one thousand shitty, shitty crows.

H.U.E. could be annoying in his own way. Like when he wasn’t allowed things because he was a ‘prisoner’ or because ‘that is a safety risk, Gary.’ He was sick of it. He didn’t have to listen to that overrated oversized tin can with a voice module. He was dangerous! Unique! Daring! 

“He was _Gary Goodspeed_ , gosh darnit!”

“Ohh, are we announcing things again? I want to help!” KVN came out of _fucking_ nowhere, as per usual. Gary, to his credit, only let out a sort-of girly scream.  
  
“Gh- KVN! What the- what the crap are you doing here? Leave!” Gary shouted, shoving the robot towards the ground and then kicking him away.  
  
“Awwh, Gary, I’m just doing my job here. And you know what they say about the economy!”  
  
“No, I don’t, KVN. I’ve been _alone on a spaceship_ for a _year and a half!_ ” Gary screeched and stormed off, heading for his room. Since the doors were automatic and he couldn’t actually slam them, he made a slamming motion and imitated the sound with a quiet _‘pcrash_ .’  
  
Gary leaned against the wall (not the door, he’s already made the mistake of leaning against the automatic sliding door more than once) with a sigh, eyes finding the small pack beside his bed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. This has happened more than a couple of times. H.U.E. called it hysterics. He was being hysterical.  
  
Gary picked up the pack and left to go to the showers. His guitar, missing all its strings, was shoved under his desk.

 

  
  
“H.U.E.,” he whined, drawing out the E. “You have to leave me alone.”  
  
“I do not.”  
  
“According to Law 336, Clause 4, surveillance isn’t allowed in bathrooms upon request.”  
  
H.U.E. was silent for a moment. He could practically hear the A.I.’s gears grinding with the fact that Gary knew what any law said. He had been preparing that for a while.  
  
“...Fine. I’ll be looking away now.”  
  
With H.U.E. diverted, he could finally work. Hell yeah, archaic privacy laws!

He stepped away from the shower spray, not bothering to put any clothes back on. Gary was past the point of worrying about dignity in death. After all, it’s not like he would be able to worry about it. (He hoped.)

His eyes burned. From the steam, probably. It wasn’t the best looking noose ever, but it was something. It took him a while to put together, first convincing H.U.E. that he could absolutely shred guitar like a master, then “snapping” all the threads discretely. He was clumsy enough that it worked. 

Hanging was a deliberate. It wasn’t like it was his only option, but he was too much of a coward to try bleeding out. Even if no one saved him, he knew he couldn’t do it. He’d always been weak, a thing he admitted to himself in the space between walls and breaths when he could curl in on himself and pretend that he was asleep and wasn’t having nightmares and that he wasn’t stuck on this ship for years.  
  
The showerhead was study, at least, as he looped the strings over the head. This all seemed dreadfully final, though Gary couldn’t muster much of any emotion. His expression remained neutral, eyes hard. He couldn’t decide between content or roiling upset.  
  
The string stung when he pulled on it too hard, tying it into the correct shape. Maybe it would just decapitate him, and he wouldn’t have to suffocate. He saw his eyes popping out of the sockets and laughed quietly.  
  
Kicking his pack underneath the wire, he reminded himself that it didn’t matter if anything got wet.

“Gary, it’s been almost 30 minutes. I’m not looking, though. You can’t prove I’m looking.”  
  
That was probably to freak him out.  
  
“Can’t a guy get some PRIVACY on this ship? God, and all the things I do for you,” he tried.

H.U.E. settled for obnoxious humming, probably hoping he’d get annoyed and hurry up. Gary was a bit grateful, actually. That wasn’t too bad of a last thing to hear.  
  
He gently settled the wire around his neck. He started gently laughing, tears welling up in his eyes. In the back of his head he knew he was being _hys-ter-i-cal_.  
  
Gary kicked the pack away. He wasn’t decapitated as he’d hoped (because that would be a hella cool way to die) but the wire did slice into his throat and left him gargling blood. He couldn’t laugh anymore, but he was definitely crying now.  
  
H.U.E. said something. It sounded far away. He couldn’t make it out. It didn’t hurt, actually. He really thought it would hurt. All he could feel was how warm his own blood felt sliding down his throat.  
  
He heard footsteps. Maybe it was the same devil he pissed off to have such a shitty life, come to take it away.

 

 

He woke up in the infirmary. Carl and Hank were standing nearby. There was a thick bandage around his neck.  
  
“I hope you realize I don’t have to follow any of those privacy laws now, ever again. And don’t try to talk. You’ll regret it.”  
  
Of course he had to try to talk. Pain lanced up his throat and all that came out was a wet croak.  
  
“I’m sorry Gary, but we don’t have painkillers for stupid.”  
  
He wanted to sob. It was just like it was every time. H.U.E. was acting completely normal. Everyone always acted completely normal. Nothing ever changed. He didn’t think he’d ever be lucky enough to be happy.  
  
“I’m glad you’re alive, Gary.”  
  
He started crying, silently. His throat screamed.


End file.
